


Random Sonic Fiction

by PeepMeep



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Child dressed up in a trenchcoat pretending to be an adult, F/M, M/M, Multi, Orgy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeepMeep/pseuds/PeepMeep
Summary: Here is a fanfic, written by hand pre-2005, typed up in 2005, and only seeing the light of day today, in the year of our lord Twenty Twenty. One of my friends wrote this and doesn't want it associated with their name, so I'm posting it instead. Please enjoy this relic of the time.
Relationships: Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik/Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna/Rouge the Bat, Miles "Tails" Prower & Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles "Tails" Prower/Rouge the Bat, Sonic/Tails/Knuckles/Rogue
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Random Sonic Fiction By: [REDACTED] Rated: R Disclaimery Stuff: I don't own any SEGA characters. (I wish I did though.) I do not hate any of the characters in this fic. (Except maybe Eggy.) Now you can't sue me. HAHA! Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is unedited, except removing the original author's name. Some of these jokes are, shall we say, Problematique. But pretend it's 2005, okay?

1 Chapter 1: Stoopud Porn Chapter

One day, while running through the big city of Station Square, Sonic sees Knux and Tails in an Adult Store.

Knux: *At the computer* Porn... uh... porn. There you are. R... R... (He is looking for Rouge porn, knowing how slutty she is.) ALRIGHT! IT'S IN!

Tails is on stilts and is wearing a long overcoat, as not to give himself away. He picks up some pornos and a JV comic without even looking at what they are, or what is in them, to get out as fast as he can.

Sonic: *Pulls out fake I.D. to get in* Hey Knux.  
Knux: Sonic! Hey Sonic! Lookie! There are 112 vids and 53 magazines with Rouge! Oh My God! Oh My God!!!  
Sonic: Wow! Sweet! Ooh... is Amy in there?  
Knux: Uuh... yeah, um, look over there. *Points over in the 'A' section and continues drooling over the Rouge porn*  
Sonic: Oookay. Um, you might want to do something about that. *Points at Knux's stuff* Hey, how'd you get in here anyway?  
Knux: Fake I.D. Tails too. Everyone has one.  
Sonic: Ooohhh... *Goes over to the 'A' section*  
T.V. in store: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you... *Eggman cuts in with E.G.G.M.A.N. playing in the background*  
Eggman through T.V.: Sonic, I will be taking... Ooh, is that Rouge on the cover? 

Eggy busts through the wall and steals all the Rouge porn.

Eggman: HaHaHa! Now who has beat who?  
Sonic: You beat yourself, off that is.

Eggman's face turns red and he runs... errr... flies away.

Knux: Grrrrr... Hey Eggman! Come back with my porn! War cry, French Toast and Syrup!

Knux runs after him, but forgets that he's not a ghost and runs into a shelf, knocking over all of the other shelves over.

Clerck: (It's not misspelled, it's his name.) You better pay for that!

Knux buys all of the porn, steals a hot air balloon, and gives chase. Tails cums (Haha, get it?) out of the bathroom with his coat full of porn.

Tails: Hi Sonic! What's going on?  
Sonic: *All fast-like* Well... Egghole stole all of the Rouge porn, Knux got mad, ran into a shelf, bought a lot of porn, and stole a hot air balloon, all while I was over there looking for Amy porn.  
Tails: Oookay? Let's get out of here.

Sonic and Tails go out with a whole lot of 'Foxy' and 'Amy's Special Issue' of 'Playhog'

Clerck: Hey! Come back! You didn't pay for that! Dammit...

1 Chapter 2: The Chase (Knux Version)

Sonic: I wonder where Knux is.  
Tails: What's that big, flaming thing in the sky? *Points to the fireball*  
Sonic: Eggman probably tricked Knux and shot him out of a cannon or something.

Knux has landed, and is on fire. He stands up and tries to put it out, but he runs into a randomly placed telephone. The pole magically puts it out.

Knux:Ahhh. Much better. (He has 2 big lumps on his head. One from the shelf, and the other from the pole.)  
Sonic: What kind of dumbass would run into a telephone pole in the middle of the street?  
Knux: What kind of dumbass would put one there in the first place?  
Sonic: I dunno?  
Tails: What happened to the porn?  
Knux: uhhh... Eggman blew it up?  
Sonic and Tails: Oh. Tell us what happened.  
Knux: Well, when I stole that balloon, I tried to start it up, but it had a hole in it, and it blew away.  
Sonic: How'd that happen?  
Knux: I don't really know... strong wind I guess. Well, after I jumped out, I put the porn in my shoes and gloves, and in between my 'Dreads', then I ran until I caught up. I started to fight him and he shot fire at me, then he shot me out of a cannon or something. Now I'm here.  
Sonic: Told ya.  
Tails: Riiight. You're sure he blew up porn?  
Knux: Ummm, I gotta go. See ya later.

1 Chapter 3: The Chase (What Really Happened)

Knux got in the balloon, started it up, and he thought the balloon had a hole. It did, but it was the one to make it float. So Knux gets out and puts the porn in all of the places he said, still not knowing of his marsupiallistic pouch. He then chases after Eggy. When he catches up, (It doesn't take long, because Eggman is in his magic porta-potty on his ship thingy.) Eggman cums (Same joke as the Tails one.) out of it with a Rouge mag ('Supersized 132 Paged Issue. Rouge on every page!') in hand. When Eggy sees Knux, he zips up his pants and his face turns red.

Knux: EGGMAN! GIVE ME BACK MY ROUGE PORN!  
Eggman: NEVER!

Knux punches Egg's ship thingy and Eggman drops some Rouge mags, which Knux grabs.

Eggman: NOOO!

Eggman blasts Knux with napalm and Knux catches fire!

Knux: Eggman blasts Knux with napalm and Knux catches fire!  
Eggman: Here, let me put that out for you.  
Knux: OK. You're my best buddy.

Knux gives Eggman a hug. Eggman gets sorta turned on, because that is the most action he's ever gotten, but he remembers he's too fat to be gay, so he shoots Knux with a cannon. Knux turns into a fireball, he lands, and talks to Sonic and Tails. Right now he's going to the bathroom, because he still has that 'Supersized 132 Paged Issue. Rouge on every page!' mag, and now back to the story.

1 Chapter 4: Knux's White Stuff

Sonic and Tails are at Knux's bathroom window.

Sonic: Hey Knux! Cum (3) on out of there!  
Knux: OK! I'm cumming (4) right now!

Knux cums (5) out of it with a Rouge mag ('Supersized 132 Paged Issue. Rouge on every page!') in hand. When Knux sees Sonic, he zips up his pants and his face turns red. (Sounds familiar, don't it?)

Sonic: I thought you said, 'Eggman blew it up?'  
Knux: I did, but he didn't blow everything up.  
Tails: What's that white stuff on your crotch?  
Knux: Oh, that? Well, grownups get these urges, these urges are called itches. To stop me from scratching this so-called 'itch', I put on flea powder.  
Tails: Ooooh. Do I need to worry about it?  
Knux: No, not until you get fleas.  
Tails: What are fleas?  
Knux: They are little, black bugs that make you itch.  
Tails: Why do they make you itch?  
Sonic: Dammit, why do you ask so many questions? Let's go! NOW!

They leave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 Chapter 1: Eggman's Second T.V. Announcement

While Knux, Sonic, and Tails are walking along doing things, like going to strip clubs using their fake I.D.'s and checking out women. Eggman is in space doing the same thing, except there are only robots there.

2 hours later...

Eggman is having lunch and accidentally presses the T.V. Announcement button, while a burger is still in his mouth.

Eggman: Oopch. Ah exedihtahy preched dah buhhon! *Swallow* Sorry for that. Well, since it's already on, I might as well do this now. *Turns to turd-bots in the background* Press play already! Why did I even make you turd-bots? *Turns back to Sonic and friends* Sonic, I will be taking over the World in 3 days. If you want to know where I am, look in Eggman Lan'. I'm in the big tower, 5 floors up, in room 302. My door will be unlocked. O.K.? Good. End transmission turd-bots. Dammit... *The T.V. shuts off*

Tails: Awe man! Egg For Brains is taking over the World in 3 days! What can we do?  
Sonic: Damn. Eggbutt is taking over Eggman Lan' in 4 days!  
Knux: No he's not, dumbass. He's taking over Mars in 2 days.  
Tails: What the Heck are you 2 talking about?! It's the World in 3 days!  
Sonic: I still think it's 4 days and Eggman Lan'. Well anyway, where can we find him?  
Knux: If we get the Master Emerald, I can break it and it'll follow him.  
Sonic: Great idea! Let's look for it. Do you know where it is Shadow?  
Tails: Shadow? SHADOW? SHADOW'S BEEN DEAD FOR 6 MONTHS NOW! WHY ARE YOU ASKING SHADOW, WHY NOT KNUCKLES OR SOMEBODY THAT'S AT LEAST ALIVE?!!!?ONE11ONE?!  
Shadow: Hi guys.  
Tails: Hi Shadow... WHAAA?????  
Shadow: Have you guys seen my sanity? I think I lost it when I fell from the A.R.K.  
Sonic: Ask Knuckles, he takes stuff all the time.  
Knux: Why are you looking at me? I haven't seen it.  
Shadow: O.K. then. QXRZT:;1APYZXS25!?  
Tails: Well that was weird.  
Sonic: What you say Knuckles?  
Knux: I didn't say anything, did you?  
Tails: No, it was me.  
Sonic: Hmmm... I guess it was the wind.  
Tails: HEY, IT WAS ME!  
Knux: I guess so.  
Tails: HEY DAMMIT!!!  
Sonic: Well, let's go.  
Tails: *Sigh* I'm gonna end up killing somebody.

2 Chapter 2: The Search Begins

They are running, and Knux has an idea of where the Master Emerald would be.

Knux: Hey, I know, let's go to Angel Island!  
Sonic: Why there?  
Knux: 'Cause it's always there.  
Sonic: Not really. Haven't you noticed that it explodes and gets lost just about every day?  
Knux: Well actually, uhhh, I sorta sold it on E-Bay for 50 cents.  
Sonic: You dumbass! You could of at least got a dollar!  
Tails: Well actually, I have a radar to find Eggman.  
Knux: We're not looking for the porno stealer, we're looking for the Master Emerald to find him. Where'd you get that anyway? Did you pull it outta your ass or something?  
Tails: Yes I did.  
Knux: I didn't need to know that.  
Tails: You asked.  
Sonic: Hurry up and find the frickin' emerald.  
Tails: It says to go directly North.

They go North to the blinking light.

Sonic: Where are we?  
Knux: We're at Rouge's house.  
Sonic: How do you know?  
Knux: Believe me, I know. *He starts staring into the bathroom window at someone taking a shower* Cum (6) here guys, I think Rouge is taking a shower.  
Tails: It's not polite to watch people take showers.  
Sonic: Then why do you watch me?  
Tails: Do you remember the first time we met?  
Sonic: Uuh, nooo.  
Tails: I know you do.  
Knux: Oooh. What happened?  
Tails: I'll tell you.  
Sonic: NOOOOO!!1one1!1

Knux knocks Sonic out.

Tails: O.K. This is what happened...

2 Chapter 3: Tonic (YAY! Tails + Sonic)

Tails suddenly has the voice of that one Discovery Channel narrator guy.

Tails: Well, about 5 years ago, Sonic was a child molester and a child pornographer. I was lost, and Sonic found me and took me into his home, because neither of us had a family. After a few weeks of living with him, he tried to 'get' with me. One night, he started to feel me in my places, then he got on me and started to... y'know.  
Knux: Uuuh, no, I don't 'know'.  
Tails: Whatever. Well during the 'thing', he found out that I was a boy, but he continued because I 'looked so innocent'.  
Knux: You let him do that to you? Tails, are you...?  
Tails: Ummm, uhhh, nooo. <_< >_> o_o;

Sonic has woken up a few sentences ago.

Sonic: That's bull Tails, and you know it! Here's how it really went down. Y'dig? *Sonic gets the same voice that Tails did* One day, 5 years ago, I saw Tails, lost, without either parent. He had said that they had died. The same thing happened to me, so I decided to take him into my home. He said that he was a girl the whole time. A couple of weeks went by, and Tails said, "When I look at you, my body starts to tingle, especially in the place between my legs." I said that it was love, and if you really feel that way, and you're ready, I'll show you what to do when you 'love' someone. He said he was ready, and I showed him. I started with the 'sneak behind', and he said that it feels better than anything that he has ever felt before, so then I changed position, then I found out that he was a boy.

Knux: Both of you are sick! I don't want to hear anymore! I'm gonna puke.

2 Chapter 4: Orgies at My Place!

Knux looks back into the bathroom to see a hot, wet, and naked furry cumming (7) out of the shower. It turns out to be Rouge's grandmother... 's granddaughter, Rouge. The same one that we were talking about.

Rouge: *Sees Knux outside* AHHH! Oh, it's just you. This is the 5th time this week. Where are you getting the money for this?  
Knux: Uhhh... the Internet?  
Rouge: Well, where and how?

Sonic, Tails, and Knux cum (8) into the bathroom.

Rouge: OH BOY! ORGY! Haven't had one of those for 20 minutes. Time for another!  
Tails: I want some!  
Sonic: ME TOO!  
Knux: As much as I would want one now, we can't.  
All: Awe man, why not?  
Knux: We're on a mission, remember?  
Sonic: Screw the mission! I want to screw Rouge!!!  
Knux: I know, me too, REALLY bad, but we got to... Ah, what the Heck, might as well.

During the 20 minutes of the orgy, Rouge has some pics taken for her next vid and mag.

2 Chapter 5: The Master Emerald

Knux: Well, here's your $10.  
Sonic: Wow, she really is cheap and slutty.  
Tails: I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!  
Rouge: If you have the money. I can do this all day.  
Tails: Me too! I have a $100 bill.  
Sonic: Where'd you get that?  
Tails: From your porn stash.  
Sonic: Oooh.

Tails and Rouge do it like 10 more times. During the 7th time, Knux and Sonic jump in. When Knux and Tails run out of money, they stop finally. They have 36 hours.

Tails and Knux: I'm out of money.  
Sonic: Finally. I'm tired.

All but Rouge are tired and sweaty because her giganormous breasts soaked it up like a sponge.

Rouge: So... what did you guys want?  
Knux: We... wanted... master...  
Rouge: Oooh, masturbate. O.K.  
Knux: We... wanted... Master... Emerald... *Sweat sweat sweat*  
Rouge: Oh, that. I keep it in my ass.  
Sonic: Why?  
Rouge: It doesn't fit in my bra.  
Sonic: Oh. I'll get it then.  
Tails: No, me!  
Knux: Me dammit!  
Rouge: Hurry up and someone shove their hand up my ass!  
Sonic: O.K. Rock, paper, scissors.

1, 2, 3, shoot!

Sonic: Scissors.  
Tails: Paper.  
Knux: Gravey.  
Rouge: I'll do it, dammit.

Rouge shoves her arm way up there. After a few minutes, her hand slides out with the Emerald, sparkly as ever. Miraculous isn't it?

Rouge: Here you go. Cum (9) back anytime boys. *Wink*  
Boys: Oh, we'll cum (10) back all right.

They leave.


	3. Chapter 3

3 Chapter 1: 29 Hours, 48 Minutes, 6 Seconds (Like the title of the chapter says, they better hurry.)

Knux: What does the Emerald say, Tails?  
Tails: Well, I'm not sure, but I can scan it on my computer at the lab.  
Sonic: How do we get there?  
Tails: The radar says that we need to give it $100.  
Knux: I blew all of mine on Rouge.  
Sonic: Let's go back to my place.  
Knux: How do we get there?  
Tails: The radar says that we need to find the magic tu-tu.  
Knux: I have one!  
Sonic: Now what?  
Tails: Sonic, put on the magic tu-tu.  
Sonic: O.K. *He puts it on*  
Tails: Knuckles, spank Sonic's ass and call him a star.  
Knux: *Smack spank smack* Sonic's a star! Sonic's a star!  
Tails: Keep smacking it, o.k. now Sonic, repeat after me: Tails, I love you. Do me!  
Sonic: Tails, I love you. Do me!  
Tails: I'd be glad to. *He starts humping Sonic*

A little while later...

Tails: O.K. The radar says to go to Rouge's place.  
Sonic: Why?  
Tails: You're her next store neighbor, remember?  
Sonic: Are you sure?  
Tails: Yes, and other than that, we can go back to Rouge's for some fun.  
Knux: Great idea! Let's go!

They go.

3 Chapter 2:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know it just ends like that, I'm sorry. [Also here's you're proof that this is truly ancuent content](https://i.gyazo.com/f3b0646219531e37baf779238341b4b1.png)


End file.
